


Until I'm Not Needed

by caralilis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, i just, im so so sorry, im sorry, its not fun people i should know, no happy ending, sorry - Freeform, this brokoro my koroko
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:03:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6690787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caralilis/pseuds/caralilis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“How long?” He asked again. Iwaizumi squeezed his hand. <i>Not long then</i>.</p><p>“Tooru, remember the first time I told you ‘I love you?’”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Until I'm Not Needed

“ _Come to the hospital now._ ”

 

The phone call ended as quickly as it started.

 

And then he was sprinting.

 

His phone fell from his hand, clattering to the ground. But it was long forgotten. Instead, Oikawa focused all his attention on running, ignoring the ache in his knee because he had to be _faster_ and had to get there _now._

 

Because Iwaizumi only had so much time.

 

And Oikawa needed all of it.

 

-

 

The doors swung open. Oikawa didn’t stop to breathe, rather using those precious seconds to run up to the receptionist who recognized him immediately. Of course she would. He was here every waking hour of the day, any possible moment he wasn’t absolutely necessary at work.

 

She simply nodded to him with a ghost of a smile, punching the button to open the entrance to Intensive Care. He didn’t bother thanking her, opting to do it later.

 

Later, when Iwaizumi would be gone.

 

His feet stuttered at the thought, nearly leaving him sprawled on the cold tile. Years of muscle memory, however, saved him from the fall. He pushed forward, not slowing down until he reached room 140.

 

Only then, with his erratic heartbeat and labored breath, did it hit Oikawa.

 

Iwaizumi was dying. _Iwaizumi_ was _dying._

 

His Iwaizumi, who Oikawa grew up catching bugs with. His Iwaizumi, who protected Oikawa from the monsters under his bed. His Iwaizumi, who protected Oikawa from _himself_.

 

His Iwaizumi, who was strong, selfless, and annoyingly humble.

His Iwaizumi, who was bluntly honest.

His Iwaizumi, who stayed up till three in the morning watching movies with Oikawa.

His Iwaizumi, who bought Oikawa milk bread for apologies.

 

His Iwaizumi, who Oikawa couldn’t help but fall in love with.

 

His Iwaizumi, who, by some miracle, fell in love with Oikawa.

 

-

 

Oikawa pushed the door open. And his frantic heart stopped.

 

Iwaizumi was sitting up in the hospital bed, his once too tight gown now slipping off his bony shoulder. His wasn’t facing Oikawa. He was looking out the window. Except the curtains were pulled, hiding the evening sun from view. Yet, Iwaizumi was smiling as if it were the most beautiful sunset he’d ever laid his eyes on. His cheeks were sunken in, hair limp and oily, and eyes glassy, and yet Oikawa fell in love all over again with a small breath.

 

“Hajime.” Iwaizumi turned to Oikawa, still smiling. His collarbones jutted out unnaturally, threatening to break through his pale skin. Oikawa pulled his eyes up, returning Iwaizumi’s smile with a half-hearted one of his own.

 

“Oikawa,” He patted the bed, “C’mere.” Oikawa scrambled over, careful of the excessive wires and tubes trapping Iwaizumi in. He crawled into the bed, curling into Iwaizumi’s scrawny arms. He gripped Iwaizumi’s gown, twisting his fingers into it. A soft whimper fell from his lips, then a sob. Tears fell down his face as he shook in Iwaizumi’s grasp. Oikawa buried his head into the other’s chest, listening to the slow heartbeat. It used to be calming.

 

But now, it was terrifying.

 

“Tooru. I’m fine. I-” Iwaizumi’s arms tightened. Oikawa looked up and forced a glare onto his face. His lips wobbled when he spoke. “Don’t lie to me. You’ve always been terrible at it.”

 

Iwaizumi shifted, bringing Oikawa into his lap completely. He placed his head on top of Oikawa’s and sighed. “You’re right.”

 

Oikawa laughed softly, playing with Iwaizumi’s fingers. “As usual.” Then he laced their hands together. “How long?”

 

Iwaizumi kissed the crown of Oikawa’s head. “As long as you need me.” Oikawa frowned, fighting off the threatening tears.

 

“How long?” He asked again. Iwaizumi squeezed his hand. _Not long then_.

 

“Tooru, remember the first time I told you ‘I love you?’”

 

Oikawa smiled fondly. “We were eighteen, freshly graduated. You were so unromantic about it too. Who hits someone after confessing?” Iwaizumi huffed. “You deserved it.”

 

“But that’s not the first time I said it. Or, well, it was the first time I _used_ the words, but it wasn’t the first time I _said_ them.” Oikawa let go of his hand, twisting around to face Iwaizumi.

 

“What do you mean?” Iwaizumi chuckled, kissing Oikawa. It was a chaste kiss, hesitant and definitely Iwaizumi. Oikawa laughed into the kiss, pushing down the lump in his throat.

 

“Iwa-chan, tell me! I don’t understand.” Iwaizumi whistled, smiling. “Well that takes me back. If fact, that’s the best place to start.” He rubbed his thumb along Oikawa’s cheekbone. “The first time I said ‘I love you?’ That’d have to be when _Shittykawa_ came about. And _Trashykawa_ and _Assikawa_ and any other terrible nickname I came up with. And as bad as it sounds, they were my way of saying ‘Shut up’ and ‘stop pushing yourself’ and ‘I love you.’”

 

“That’s terrible Hajime.” Oikawa teased, kissing Iwaizumi’s cheek. He laughed in response, nodding. “Yeah, it was. But they were every bit as honest as me saying ‘I love you’ to your face. Didn’t you ever guess that?” Oikawa had.

 

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa leaned up for a kiss. This one was much more passionate, lasting far longer. When they pulled back, a string of saliva between, Oikawa grinned. “I love you.”

 

His grin wavered. “I love you,” he continued, “and I need to tell you something.”

 

Oikawa took a shaky breath, blinking up at Iwaizumi. He didn’t bother stopping the constant stream of tears running down, instead focusing his watery gaze on his lover.

 

“I love you. I love you so much. _God_ , Hajime. How am I supposed to live when you’re dead? You’ve been my love, my life, my _everything._ And I don’t know what to do. You’re dying. You’re on the verge of _death_! And here I am, completely fine. It’s bullshit, Hajime. _Bullshit_ . You weren’t supposed to leave me! You weren’t, but you’re going to and- and-” He took a heaving breath, exhaling a sob. “And _I don’t need you anymore._ ”

 

Iwaizumi’s breath hitched. Oikawa wrapped his arms around the other’s neck, holding him as close as possible. “I don’t need you anymore,” he cried desperately. “So stop _suffering._ ”

 

Iwaizumi’s body shook, Then his hands gripped the back of Oikawa’s shirt. He buried his head into Oikawa’s hair again, dampening it with tears of his own. And Oikawa clung on, whispering ‘ _it’s okay_ ’ and ‘ _you can let go_ ’ to the dying man, praying to every god out there that Iwaizumi wouldn’t listen to him for once.

 

“I love you,” Iwaizumi sobbed. “I love you so much.”

 

And Oikawa nodded in response, pulling him closer. They stayed that way until the tears stopped. Until they ran out of memories to reminisce with, until they shared all the kisses to last a lifetime.

 

Until Iwaizumi passed away, with the name _Tooru_ on his lips.

 

**Author's Note:**

> im so so sorry this came out of nowhere


End file.
